Articles - Traditional Greek Weddings in Zakynthos
Despite the fact that Greece is becoming more cosmopolitan and in the larger cities young courting couples are relatively inconspicuous, in smaller communities on the islands and in remote villages where everybody knows everybody else’s business, there’s no option but for young people to adhere to the local protocol.
In Zakynthos ‘arranged marriages’ still take place, not in the true meaning of the word whereby children are promised to each other from birth by their parents, but at a later stage when it is decided that a girl is ready to be married. Word is spread around together with a mention of what is being offered as a dowry (usually a piece of land). Any interested suitors must arrange a meeting with the girl and her family through a go-between to see if her family consider him to be a worthy suitor.
The first meeting usually takes place with the girl and her immediate family together with the would be suitor and the go-between. A discussion takes place about the proposed marriage and to see whether the couple even like each other in order to decide whether things can be taken further. If they decide that the marriage will go ahead then a get together will take place between the families of both parties whereby each family may approve or disapprove of the impending marriage.
Once the proposed marriage has been approved, their relationship has to be made official. They don’t usually get engaged at this early stage but they make a promise that they do intend to get married by the giving of ‘loyia’ or ‘words’. The immediate family of the couple get together where the bride to be is given a ring and then it is acceptable for them to be seen out together. Often the girl will practically live at the house of her in laws to be or husband to be (if she’s lucky she won’t have to live with her in laws when she’s married!!)
The couple become officially engaged usually after a short period of time, It is at this time that the wedding rings are exchanged but worn on the third finger of the left hand until the wedding ceremony when they are changed to the right hand. At the engagement party the tradition is for each member of the groom’s family to ‘decorate’ the bride with a piece of jewellery (often very expensive) and the guests will give cakes, sweets and sugared almonds to the host family. It is not usually the tradition to give engagement presents.
Most girls, while growing up, have been gathering together their ‘bottom drawer’ in preparation for their wedding day. A few days before the wedding the ‘krevati’ or ‘bed’ party takes place at the couple’s new home where often the whole village is invited. All the girl’s belongings are transported to her new home and the bridal bed is made up in white by all the unmarried female guests in preparation for the wedding night. The tradition is to throw a young child on the bed so that the couple will be blessed with many children. Usually this a boy so that the couple’s first child will be male-this is still very important to many Greek families as he will carry on the family name. Afterwards the guests pass by the bed and throw money and rice on it for good luck – rice is also used in the wedding ceremony in order to ‘rizoni’ or ‘give roots’ to the marriage.
The wedding ceremony usually takes place the following Sunday nearly always in the early evening due to the summer heat. The bridegroom’s family and friends meet at his house and then go to the church in convoy beeping their horns where they wait outside the church for the bride who arrives with her parents in the wedding car also in convoy with all their friends and relatives beeping their horns!!! Everybody else gets out of their cars while the bridal car goes round the block so that the bride and her parents are the last to arrive. The bride gets out of the car to the sound of clapping. She is given away by her father or brother who escorts her to her waiting groom (still outside the church) who presents her with her bouquet and kisses first her father then herself on the cheeks. The couple enter the church followed by the guests and take their place in the middle while everyone gathers around them. There is usually an informal atmosphere during the ceremony with plenty of whispering going on, in fact sometimes the Priest has to hush everyone! Photographs and videos can be taken freely.
At one stage in the ceremony where the priest states that ‘a woman should fear a man’ it has become a light-hearted custom for the bride
to stamp on her husband’s foot to show her objection to this which is usually accompanied by some giggling if she manages to do so!!
There may be any number of best men or women who, during the ceremony, who will each ‘join’ the couple by crossing and uncrossing two ‘stefania’, which are like two loops covered and joined together by ribbon, above their heads three times. The ‘stefania’ are then placed and left on their heads for the rest of the ceremony. The wedding rings are crossed and uncrossed also three times and then place on the couple’s fingers. Then couple will sip red wine and eat a morsel of bread, offered by the priest, again three times.
During the ceremony young unmarried girls hand out little sachets filled with rice and sugared almonds. This is everybody’s favourite bit-towards the end of the ceremony the couple link hands together with the best men and follow the priest round the table three times. While they are walking round, the guests throw handfuls of sugared almonds and rice at them. You often see the priest holding his huge bible up against his face as protection. Nowadays often only rice is handed out as it doesn’t hurt as much as the sugared almonds!!
This brings us to the end of the ceremony and the couple go to sign the official book. When this has been done, the bride and groom and their immediate families form a line and the guests pass by in a long queue to shake their hands and to congratulate them. On their way out the guests are given a ‘boubounyiera’, a little lace pouch containing sugared almonds. The best men are presented with a thank you gift which has been on show next to the boubounyieras during the ceremony.
Outside the church the bride will throw her bouquet and the young unmarried girls will stand ready to catch it. It is said that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to be married! Another custom is for the girls to put an odd number of the sugared almonds under their pillow and that night they will see the person they will one day marry in their dreams.
Usually the church ceremony is followed by a reception where the newly married couple traditionally have the first dance, cut the wedding cake and feed each other one spoonful, and drink a champagne toast with their arms linked through each other’s!
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